Should New York Home Buyers Write a Personal Letter to the Seller?

The personal letter – a buyer’s written note to a seller explaining who they are, why they love the home, and what they plan to do with it – has become a common feature of competitive offer situations in residential real estate. The instinct behind it is understandable: in a multiple-offer scenario, a human connection might tip a seller toward you rather than a competing buyer.

In New York’s legal environment, the situation is more nuanced than it appears.

The Fair Housing Concern

The fundamental problem with personal letters is that they invite sellers to make decisions based on information about buyers that they legally cannot consider. Fair housing law prohibits discrimination in the sale of housing based on race, color, national origin, religion, sex, familial status, and disability – and New York State and New York City add several additional protected categories.

A personal letter that reveals a buyer’s religion, family structure, national origin, or other protected characteristics – even unintentionally – creates a situation where a seller’s decision between offers could be influenced by protected information. If the seller chose one buyer over another because the letter mentioned attending church, or included a family photo that revealed the buyer’s race or the presence of children, that decision could constitute a fair housing violation.

The National Association of Realtors has discouraged the practice for this reason, and many real estate agents in New York decline to transmit personal letters to avoid facilitating potential fair housing violations.

What Buyers Should Consider

If you choose to write a letter – and some sellers genuinely respond to them positively – keep it focused on the home itself and your connection to it, not on personal characteristics that could implicate protected status. “We love the kitchen layout and have wanted to live near this park for years” is appropriate. Information about your religion, family composition, ethnicity, or other protected characteristics is not.

Understand that some listing agents will decline to pass the letter along entirely, and that some sellers will have been advised by their agents not to read them. A letter that never reaches the seller has no effect on the outcome.

What Sellers Should Consider

Sellers who receive personal letters should be aware of the fair housing implications. Your agent should advise you on whether to read the letter and how to document that your decision between offers was based solely on legitimate financial and contractual factors. Making a decision because you preferred a buyer whose letter indicated shared religious affiliation or whose photo showed no children is legally risky territory.

The cleanest practice for sellers in competitive situations is to evaluate offers on financial and contractual merit and to treat personal letters as information that doesn’t affect the decision.

I help buyers and sellers navigate the competitive offer process – including the personal letter question – in a way that protects everyone’s interests. Call me at (321) 447-4259 or visit movewithricky.com.

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Rakesh (Ricky) Khanna | Licensed Real Estate Salesperson
Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate Realty Connect
Call or text: (321) 447-4259 | movewithricky.com